Sailing away in the ocean was my ship, along with my crew. How could they forget about me? I tried to cry out to them but it was no use, they were gone. Unsure of what to do next I sat down with my head in my hands. Next thing I know I am being picked up off the ground and hoisted into the air by what seems to be ginormous claw. I looked up, and sure enough I was being carried away by a giant eagle to my death. I thought about throwing myself into the sky to plummet to my fate, but before I could do so, the eagle dropped me into its big next and flew away.
In the nest was a giant egg that could easily crush me. Great, I am going to be baby food when this egg hatches I thought. However, relieved that the mother eagle was gone momentarily I sat down leaning against the egg trying to formulate a plan.
Not soon after I pressed my back up against the egg, the egg pushed back! Oh no, it's already happening I thought to myself. The egg began to shake some more and begin to crack open revealing a baby chick inside. New with life, the baby chick stretched out of its broken shell and rubbed its fuzzy head against me. To my surprise this was the cutest, sweetest chick I'd ever seen!
Usually baby chicks can't fly until they are at least a few months old, but this chick magically stretched out its wings and flew out into the sky and circled right back to the nest landing next to me. If only I could get it to carry me down from this nest and into that nearby valley before I have to deal with the wrath of the mother eagle. The starts must have been in line for me that day because no later that that thought popped into my head that the baby bird scooped me up by my turban, flew me down out of the nest and to the nearby valley and set me softly on the ground and then flew away.
To my relief, I was greeted by a group of travelers who were also on the island trying to collect great riches. I explained to them my misfortunes and they agreed to let me travel with them back to Bagdad.
Me being whisked away by mother eagle.
Author's note: Inspired by the original second voyage from The Voyages of Sinbad by Andrew Lang, I put my own personal twist on what took place. In Lang's version, Sinbad falls asleep on the island and wakes up to see that his ship and crew are gone. While he is walking the island trying to figure out what he will do next, he finds a giant fuzzy white object that turns out to be an egg from a giant roc. At nightfall the roc settles upon the egg and Sinbad attaches his turban to the roc's foot in hopes that it will carry him away to somewhere with humans in the morning. His plan succeeds and in the morning he is carried away by the eagle.
You did a good job of grabbing the reader's attention in the beginning and keeping it until the end. I think your detailed descriptions made your story great and helped me as the reader develop a clear picture of the scenes while reading your story. There were two small typos that I noticed ("next" at the end of paragraph 2 and "begin" in paragraph 4), but your story was still easy to understand. I enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteHey, I read Sinbad for last week's reading. I like getting to see what someone else did with the same starting material. I like how you took the story and upped the tempo quite a bit. Rather than having Sinbad waiting around, the adventure always keeps him on his toes. That's a nice story telling technique, as it keeps the reader engaged and you won't bore them. Keep up the good work.
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